您有梦想吗?
那我的梦想是什么?

我的梦想, up till now i still don't know. I feel disappoint that i don't even know what's my dream.
Sad to say, but is true, a person who dosen't had a dream to me is damn useless.
and yes, i'm one of them.

I discover that i no longer understand myself and what i want to be/do in future.
Think i have been staying at home too long and yet i still can't think of what i actually interested in and go for it.

Peaceful life and had a happy family is always what i hope for.
And now i had both of them, but i don't feel happy at all. That's something wrong between hubby and me.

I think i had choose the wrong paths, but no regrets or complaint. I have to be responsible for my decision. Mom say : 如果你认为你无法接受结婚的生活, 就不应该选择结婚!
Sorry to say, ya is truth! i just can't accept those life i having now.

Even how much i tell myself: Gwen you had to learn how to accept !
I still failed to do so, our distance is getting far far away from each other. Our feeling ? slowly will faded. I know i should try my best to mantain our relationship, but so sorry. I don't know why, i just can't.

Not hubby problem yet problem is with me. I could not stop treating him coldly, because i not happy to be with him.

Than why i still choose to married ?
Sad to say, in the first place i never think of wanted to married. But i didn't want to abort baby inside my tummy. Its curel, i dare not to do things like that.

Is it possible if i want him to let me go ?
"Don't make any rush decision", this is what Joanne had told me in msn.
I didn't want to make any decision :) All i just want is to be more cheerful, more laughter in my life, less depress, i want to be more happier. Understand ?

But it seems like, it won't happen to me anymore.
seriously speaking, i had no confident in myself like i use to be.
This coming sunday is my first day of work. Which is my sister introduce me.

when i went for the interview, i seen many pretty girls who around my age. Yes they look cute and pretty. Compare to me, i'm just a below average looking girl.
Where's my beauty gone to ? where's all my confident ? sigh!

Didnt update for 4days.
I was kinda lazy to update, life's still the same for me. Have been stuck at home all these days.
watching videos, Iswak , kang xi lai le, Honey and clover( anime version ) & some comedy shows.

These four days..
same, have not been really close to hubby. But slightly better ? at least we did talk.
But don't know why, i start to loves Taiwan more & more. The Place, the food & the people there.
Taiwan is such a relaxing place for me ! I LOVE TAIWAN.

I went to interview job on last saturday, which is my sister introduce me de.
but the boss haven call me yet. I hope i can get in & earn lots lots money & save lots lots money.
I need to save up to 4k. & i get a Laptop !~

Really miss Iswak, last episode already.
So sad, have been stuck on these drama for 2 months ?
And the ending, sucks to the max.
Nevermind, JOE ROCKS.

alright. stop here !

Let's don't waste anymore time.
we won't gets along well.
No matter u won't give up or what.
My feeling still remain the same, because i know feeling
can't be force.

Last words i only can say : Im sorry. & please let me go.
I could not force myself to say : I Love You
We married, because of tiffany.
we married, because of u want to responsible.
We married, because we thought our relationship will gets better.
But do you know ? We're wrong! we choose the wrong path.
Our relationship didn't gets any better.
But worse !

Please let me go!

Photos taken 14 April.
Outing with Ah Niu & nfoundz.


Qi Hui aka nfoundz & Joanne aka Ah Niu

SWENSENS TIME <3



THE FOODS <3






THE GIRLS <3


Ah niu :)


nfoundz :)


Barbiedo :)

TAKEN AT TAKKA <3







THE THREE GIRLS <3~ YEAH

THE END !

15 April,

Have my hair do with Maggie Mee & Ah Niu at tampines.

Maggie mee went to dye her hair, as for me doing rebornding & colour :)

Ah niu sit there & wait for her. Poor things is, she wait for us about 2 to 3 hours like that.

16 April,

stuck at home, feeling rather moodless to do anything. Just watch "They Kiss Again"

super addict with this Drama.

Joe rocks :)

17 April,

stuck at home & keep re-watching ISWAK.

I know i kind of lame, but because i do really love this drama. So i keep repeating few times.

18 April,

Went to Polyclinic for Tiffany Hearing test.

Nurse says, she very alert. Good in hearing.

19 April,

Stuck at home.

20 April,

Went to whitesands with my mom.

21 April,

Stuck at home.

Today,
Stuck at home again. Please see! How many days i have been staying at home.
Just don't know why, really restless to go any where.
Have been quarrelling with hubby for fews days.

I don't feel like seeing him or talked to him. Can say i treat him super cold.
We didn't really talks for one week or even kissed or hug.
I was trying hard to avoid him, he asked me why ?
I could only answer : i don't know.

What's in my mind ?
alot of things, which i don't even know how to start.
I have been keeping things in my mind for whole week. I didn't tell him because i know he won't be understand.

I feels that he's still had a kiddo mindset. He won't be understand what i want or we just not suitable.
He has been controlling my freedom till i feel i do not have any breathing space.
Do i deserve all this thingy ?

I want to move forward, & be someone better. I don't want forever stuck here as a house wife not house wife, Maid not maid.
I wants to upgrade myself!
I seriously want learn some skills improve myself.

I have been thinking, what i actually wants to be ? what i actually interested ?
I want to migrate to Taiwan, but what i can do from there ?

Be a POP Star in Taiwan ?
If that's a chance i also want. But who will actually "notice " a girl like me ?
as they can find some much more pretty girls.
Make Up artise ? Hairs stylist ? Photographer ?
Which one i interested in ?

My Planning Is,
I had to get a full-time jobs with CPF
Open a bank account, save my 20% of my salary in this account.
Get a "N" level cert.
If i got my "N" level, than i shall start taking course that i really interested.
Lastly, when everythings settle down, maybe start my migrate thingy?

I promise , i won't be using his money anymore. I want "KAO" myself to succes.
Because i know my feelings for him. That's no rights for me to spend his money.
Even we're hushband & wife, but i'm not type of girl who loves to cheat on people money.
Last Words i can say : Im So Sorry. Feelings can't be force.

Stop here, nights everyone :)
& lastly ISWAK ROCKS.

My Goal.
Today will be quite long post :)
As outing with Qi Hui aka maggie mee & Joanne aka Niu niu (cow in chinese )
Was quite happy to went out with them, suddenly i feel....

Every one must had one goal to succed! If not life's will turn meangingless.
And know what? i dicuss with hubby about our future planning.
Yes, i want to be a PHOTOGRAPHER

Actually i really don't know why i want be a photographer. Maybe i think i born to be abit dumb & i think photographer is a quite simple job for me.
I want to upgrade myself because i still young, i still can learn alot new things.

& i really really interested taking photos for others.
But can anyone tell me where shall i start ? & where can i actually takes those course or something ? Or can anyone tell me more about photographer ?

As for my family Planning.
I told hubby, i not going to have anymore kids. Because i seriously want to migrate to Taiwan.
Is not because i watch too many drama, & its because taiwan won't be so stress as singapore.
I didn't tell my parents about this, because i know i still had to save lots lots of money.

& i have not reach 21, so can't migrate still.
But still i need to know what the procedure to migrate.
Maybe i really need 10 years to migrate ? or even shorter ? But i know i gotta love taiwan lots lots.

Because i can sense that :) & i belive i can do it.
And some photos will be uplaod tomorrow :)

Depression ?
I somehow feel very depress & those stress that i don't know how to say.
I don't have any mood to do anything or even going out.
I super lazy now, i feel depress.
I feel very pissed off in every little thing i do.
I can't sleep well every night & alot alot things.

Sigh, i don't know what's wrong with me.
Suppose i had nothing to stress about, & because i always stay at home look after tiffany.
nothing for me to stress isn't it ?

But i really don't know why i feel some stress. I think i gotta gets crazy soon.
argh!!
Anyway, i really hate my parents keep asking me to bring tiffany & VISIT HIS MOM
so annoying!!

If i know i had this type of life, i rather my mom don't born me out.
I hope she can abort me when the time she had me in her tummy.
Because, its better for her & better for me too.
She don't have to bother using money on me & less finacial problem.

As for me, i don't have to face this type of life.
Yes i feel like dying, I JUST WANT TO DIE!!

Stuck at home :)

Have been watching Taiwanese Drama.

It started with a kiss.

As for today, i stuck at home. & my mood is sucks to core.

Don't wish to mention anymore, but only things i want to say..

I really hope hubby reach 21 than can quickly get a flats & move out.

I do appreciate my family have been supporting me since i get married.

But afterall i really need some breathing space, i don't know why my parents have been nagging & nagging.

I seriously feel so freaking annoying, as for today morning..

Oh dear, i don't even know what's wrong with my dad. Okay, i know i wake up super late this morning. I wake up at 11am, & because i really sleepy & hope to sleep a little bit longer.

But, i don't know why my dad so "peh chey" for. Argh!! forget it, i really hates begin "Kao Bei"

& i also hate when just woke up than heard "his mom" thingy! So annoying.

How i wish i can find a flat without his mom knowing, because whenever i see her will makes me puke!

Okay stop here.

Relaxing Day~ !
Maggie Mee & Jiang Tai Tai came over to my place :)
slack, chit-chat, eat & play maple.

Nothing much about today, because staying at home the whole day. Till night we order pizza hut for our dinner :)
We even re-create our maple character, and know what ?!?
we choose the same name :)

*lOvebubbles~

all with the same names & same dressing, sometime we even don't know who is who -.-
but because that's some problem with the quest thingy, so we stop playing instead :)

Okay, stop here :)

Hohoho!~
My tag-board got passerby again :)

passerby: i think u dun post like uvery big fuck leh.. since tat matters already over.

Orh, i don't act big fuck to people who dosen't provoke me. BUT... Not to those people who really make my blood boilling.
Anyway that's not call big fuck, even if i do got huan tio you meh ? Just like how cher say in the tagged board. LOL

& i got write down any names on my previous blog meh ? don't have what. Than how do he/she know that matters already over o-O
Or how do he/she know who i refer to ? o-O

Okay, continue again tonight :)

I'm back~
Went to Parkway with my mom. Because she want to buy a small bicycle for tiffany :)
What a nice grandma she have ;)

Before shopping, went to my dad work place & look for him.
Today our dinner is Fish & co~
Woohoooo~ damn nice lar, my favourite.

I never eat Fish & co for quite long time already. The last time was Hubby & me dating that time :)
He always use Fish & co to pampered me. But now.... -.-

Anyway, we finish our dinner than headed to Giant supermarket. Because mom says only there have the so called baby bicycle that's suit tiffany :)
But only left with the display piece, & looks quite dirty already.

So my mom don't want. Sigh~
Than we actually shop for awhile, mom says she kinda tired.
so we actually went to Taxi stand & wait for cab :)

Really long Queue leh, Faint*
But still manage to wait.

Okay off to bed, good nights everyone :)

Laughing My Ass Off :) :) :)
Thanks Cher for that lovely comments. Its takes about YEARSSS ler, but she still haven notice that comments.

Pa Jiao!
Don't later one week later than saw that LOVELY COMMENT.
Than start kao bei that we put that comment for one week -.-
Like how someone say i put my post for one week than she also want put for one week.
But its already past one week ler, she didn't delete the post.

Never keep her words -.-
Nevermind, since she don't want to delete. Than i shall continue posting about her.
& oh ya, i didn't even put down her name.
So she can't really accuse me for posting about her. Oh yes~!

She think she block me or set private profile than i can't read her blog is it?
Dumb means dumb.
Who ask her want come act big with me ? LOL. Got boyfriend so what ?

Boyfriend sooo rich so what ? can prove to me that she will last till get married meh ?
she think she very pretty is it ? Please lar, i think i much more prettier than her.
Even if i'm fat now. But at least i still had a looks lar fucker~!

And don't look down on me lah, married at young age so what ? At least i DARE to face it.
English broken so what ? I still dare to post out & let whole world see i had a broken english.

At singapore act one big fuck for what ?
think very " EH SAI" is it? Or very " SAT KI" ?
Pui lar, call police come down don't know run till where ler. Like that still call "EH SAI"
Siao eh!~

I give her about 3days, & see weather she notice my blog not. Okay 3days yea ?
Don't after 3 days still haven notice than kaobei say i put this post so long than u also want put hor. Is not i put very long, is u slow lar fucker !

Today, afternoon went to Suntec City look for my mom.
Than happen on cher & her family was there too, than meet her, chat with her.
Today also just find out about the comment. I keep laughing :)
But anyway thanks to her.
I hope she will really last long with her boyfriend :)

After my mom finish work, headed to Raffles City window shopping :)
But we didn't buy anything, sad. But actually want to buy a bicycle for tiffany.
But not today, soon will buy for her.

Because mom just finish work, she kinda tired & sleepy so went home early & now blogging.
i wonder if later wanna find hubby at expo not.

& oh ya, hubby work as "Interior Designer"
if anyone interested your house to be design, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know :)
& let him earn some profits. thanks.
Okay shall stop here :)

Readers, i'm here to update again :)
Today got stuck at home, didn't intend to go anywhere.
& i didn't even have my breakfast & lunch. Because i was too lazy to buy my food.

Don't know why feel so freaking restless today, okay really nothing much about today.
Play Viwawa, watch TV & play with my Tiffany.
Today hubby come home kinda late, because of his work thingy bah.

That's all. Good nights everyone :)

Remove My Hair Extension :)

I feel much more comfortable now. After all i still prefer my short hairs.

Afternoon meet Joanne aka shortie ;)

*ahem..

reminder to those people, this Joanne is i know her since our secondary time. & not the want i quarrel with :)

Because its happen that both of them had a same name.

Photos coming :)
Tiffany, snap her while i was feeding her this afternoon.

Look what she had done ?!? She actually mess up & she really damn dirty "_"


Love her chubby cheek.

Hohoho~ after seeing tiffany photos, now is my turn ~!

But i admit my photos more than tiffany. Hees.

Anyway these photos taken before removing my hairs extension.

Mirror reflection :)

My elder sister give me one pair of contact lense.

(*eheh, the "lense" did i spell correctly ? My english sucks.)

But anyway, my eyes look more bigger with the thingy.


Yesh!! I have big eyes. I know i kinda fake.

Because i had fake hair, fake tattoo & fake big eyes :(

Joanne please hurry up !@#$!@#

Because i think she kinda slow :)


Finally, after my hair extension :)

still prefer my short hair, because its much more comfortable.

Taken at the KFC in Singapore Posts.

We was having our lunch & while Joanne go buy food.

Anyway look carefully at my chest! Its different colour!!

Because of the stupid wild wild wet, cause me got the horrible sunburn

& now i had different colour.

LOOK DAMN FREAKING AWFUL, I KNOW IT!!
(erm, actually i'm not showing off my breast. Hope people don't mistaken)

My sweet little girl, she's sitting at the baby chair.
AND PLEASE LOOK HOW SHE SIT ?

DO SHE LOOK LIKE A BABY AH LIAN ?


When i just got home, i just slightly touch my hair

& i found out i actually drop alot of hairs.

Just like what my elder sister told me about hair extension.

At first i got fucking shock & my damn hubby says look quite scary "_"

& know what? he don't even dare to go close with me. LOL.

hees, but i just don't bother. Ended up i'm the want who ask him to clear those hair

at the basin.
(Scare huh ? Scare more lor, the more u scare the more i ask u clear! LOL )


Okay, its end of those photos.

Today when Joanne & me having our lunch, we actually chat alot.

LOL, & seriously make me think of the secondary time.

Especially, PONTEN!~

We stay at the same block, & she's call Joanne. Another Joanne i quarrel with

also stay the same block with me. So kinda "Qiao"

I still remember those schools days, because i always wake up quite late.

& Joanne will wake up earlier than me.

& its because i use to have my own room, which is facing the corridor.

And every morning we will meet before heading towards schools.

she will always come up my house & knock my room window & wake me up "_"

But sometimes we was kinda late, than we choose to ponten :)

She had her Interesting pasts, & i do have my Youngster pasts.

From the beginning to now, both of us actually leading different lifestyle.

I was kinda suprising that we can actually maintain our friendship even we're totally leading different life.

For her from the beginning, she has no temper. People scold her, she actually just keep quiet & walk off or whatever lar.

As for me i had a very hot temper.

She has no freedom but yet she didn't ask her dad for any freedom.

For me, I had no freedom at first. But till some days i really quarrel with my parents & change my freedom.

Both of our attitude its really different, but still can hold on to this friendship.

& because she knows me well,

as in people always say......

i had a attitude problem.

i always flirt..

i always hang out with guys..

i always act one big fuck...

i always want to attract guys attention...

i very open minded...

i very........... blah blah blah..

If i do have a attitude problem, ya its truth. But it not the worse type.

I didn't even show any of my friend attiude unless they really makes me angry.

Who won't be giving attitude to that person who makes u angry?

Joanne knows weather i flirt or not.

Hang out with guys... Yes its truth. I use to hang out with guys.

But i don't even do some bitchy act & like trying attrach guys attention.

Heyhey, alot people says i like to act one big fuck.

Ermm, as for this.... i don't know.

will ask Joanne when i was free. Do not worry that she will lie to me :)

& i post out what's her answer for this.

How to attract guys attention ? Or people saying my wearing? my make up ?

or what ?

I don't act one sweet pie, i don't act hot & sexy, i don't act ah lian.

Than how do i attrach guys attention ?

Open minded? in what ? let alot guys fuck ? or heard alot guys saying they fuck me before ?

I know that's some guys saying thing like that & spread my dirty rumours "_"

But anyway, have or dont have is from my mouth.

I also can say i had sex wit some popular actor or singer isn't it ?

Than what for guessing this kinda thing ? I know hubby is one of them.

But who cares? God give us mouth to speak , & of course people can speak things that's not truth.

Anyway, what i had type here is actually no offence. I was speaking words than from my heart.

Alright i shall stop here. Good night everyone :)